I've had the opportunity to do some pleasure reading in my free time, something I rarely seem to have time for back home. So far I've read Blue Like Jazz and Wild at Heart (both for the second time), The Adventures of Huck Finn (an absolute classic), and I'm finishing Way of the Wild Heart (for the second time).
The Way of the Wild Heart is speaking to me right now. It's a fantastic book about the different stages a man experiences throughout his life. The truth is that most of these stages are interrupted or wounded in some way. It can happen in a variety of ways, anything from verbal/physical abuse to being bullied on the playground as a child to having a father who is checked out. A man carries these wounds with him throughout life, and it affects every decision he makes. Why do you think there are so many men out there striving and working endless hours trying to overachieve? Or how many men do you know who try to use a girl to make themselves feel more like a man? There's a part of the soul that remains immature and boyish.
There was a paragraph that just jumped out at me as I read it. This couldn't be more true in my life right now...
"Life is hard. While he is the Beloved Son, a boy is largely shielded from this reality. But a young man needs to know that life is hard, that it won't come to you like Mom used to make it come to you, all soft and warm and to your liking, with icing. It comes to you more the way Dad made it come to you - with testing, as on a long hike or trying to get an exhaust manifold replaced. Until a man learns to deal with the fact that life is hard, he will spend his day chasing the wrong thing, using all his energies trying to make life comfortable, soft, nice, and that is no way for any man to spend his life."
Life isn't icing on the cake for me right now. I am continually being tested and challenged. I think that's part of the reason I'm here. The majority of my internship is dealing with customer complaints and solving problems other people created. There have been many times I've wanted to quit. Then there is the language barrier of course. I don't say any of this in a bitter way at all. I accept that life is hard and with it comes challenges. It's a daily struggle for me to try not to merely seek comfort and pleasure. I'll be the first to admit that I quite often fail at this. But I'm slowly learning (emphasis on slowly). More importantly though, I'm open to learning.
I'm having a blast here though. Don't think that I'm miserable or stressed out... that's only at work :) I'm learning so much about myself, other people and different cultures. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.
